Wednesday, May 16, 2012

Privileges not rights!

(Excuse me while I get on my soapbox. But this one I can't resist or hold in.)

Some people will never know what it is to truly fight to get something in life. Some people get many "things" handed to them easily, and take those things for granted, not even giving them the appreciation they deserve. This goes for jobs, spouses, parents, siblings, cars, homes, financial handouts, and nearest and dearest to my heart, children.

These things are not rights people!

They are privileges!

You are not guaranteed to get them nor to keep them. Appreciate what you have.

Stop taking them for granted, for tomorrow may not come and if it does for you, it may not for others around you. And I am no saint... far from it. I complain far too often and I am first to admit that. But the things we complain about... someone somewhere would give anything to have. And that someone is probably far closer than you realize.

Infertility has taught me a LOT of hard lessons. This is, without a doubt, in the top 3 lessons learned so far in this journey. Going through this, learning these hard lessons... it has really helped my consideration for others and the (often silent) things they may be going through to grow and be strengthened.

Thursday, April 26, 2012

NIAW postings

To see my National Infertility Awareness Week posting's, head on over to my other blog.

Sunday, April 22, 2012

National Infertility Awareness Week

April 22-28 is the one week our nation recognizes Infertility. National Infertility Awareness Week (NIAW) is our chance to make this disease better recognized and understood.

This year's theme is Don't Ignore Infertility. And that theme really sums up the purpose for the Walk for Hope that Clint and I will be walking in come June.

Last year during NIAW, I took a big step and made my infertility public knowledge. Until then, only a handful of treasured and highly trusted friends knew the struggle we were experiencing. I was tired of the secrecy, the vagueness, and faking our happiness on really dark days. It's hard to understand why infertility is hard to share/talk about, until you are experiencing it. Even being on this walk of infertility, it's still difficult to explain the secrecy that feels necessary. So "coming out" and telling your world that you are fighting infertility takes a lot of bravery for most of us.

The first year I learned about NIAW, I honestly thought to myself that it would be the only year I would go through that week as someone struggling with the disease. When NIAW came again for me last year, it was a very difficult time of reflection and realizing that another year had passed without our desperately longed for baby. So I decided to toughen up and share our struggle with friends and family. And I am so glad that I did.

While it did not gain us as much support as we had hoped, it did gain a few really awesome supporters. I had hoped it would make others more aware of the things they say, to us and in general. I can't say that this happened though. The problem is how little the general population know about infertility, let alone how little they understand it. This is why NIAW is so very important to those of us who are battling infertility and those who did battle it but overcame it. If people would take the time to learn just a little about infertility and how it emotionally can affect people, they could avoid causing a great deal of unintended pain. I made a post about Infertility Etiquette a few weeks ago, of an article posted by RESOLVE that truly gets to the heart of how peoples careless statements and questions cut us so deeply. And I will say it again: I wish I could make all of our family and friends read it and really truly reflect on it. I actually wish everyone would read it, so the world might be just a bit more respectful of the sensitivity that infertility brings.

My goal during this years NIAW, is to post multiple blog posts on Infertility and the importance of not ignoring it. Please jump over to my other blog, From Newlyweds to Parents, for these posts. The more we share about this, the more people we will reach.

So here's to hoping that this week will make millions more aware of infertility.

Sunday, April 15, 2012

Infertility Etiquette

Click over to Our Journey From Newlyweds to Parents to read my latest.

Have a happy and blessed week.

Monday, April 9, 2012

You are...

Feeling down? Depressed? Hopeless? Having one of those days when you feel like you fail at everything you attempt? This song is the great reminder we all need on our down days. It really makes me stop and think in a new perspective. He made EVERYTHING glorious... and He made you... so, just what does that make you? GLORIOUS! (Because we are forgiven.)

Saturday, March 24, 2012

Breaking the Silence

Please consider supporting my husband and I as we join the Walk for Hope to help break the silence for infertility. To see our page and learn more, click on Breaking the Silence above.

Friday, March 16, 2012

New infertility blog

I've created a place to put all these infertility thoughts.

Wednesday, February 29, 2012

Someone toss me a ladder down here.

How do you grieve for the loss of a lifelong dream of getting pregnant and giving birth?

Where do I begin?

How do I get from the bottom of this pit that's full of anger, bitterness, and envy?

I want to be back out in the sunshine of life. I want to be happy again. I want to be able to look at babies again... cause I really really love babies.

Above all, I want to be happy again for the sake of my husband. God Bless him. He doesn't deserve this mess of a wife.

But for right now, it hurts. And I have to feel this pain for a bit before I can figure out how to move on.

Monday, February 13, 2012

Pigs Can Fly

Pigs must now be able to fly... cause I just got crafty. And, seriously, crafty is not my thing.

But I got inspired over at Lisa Leonard's. We are throwing a Valentine's Dance for our clients which is even more inspiration. So I gave it whirl and here is what was accomplished.

This one says Be Mine (It seemed impossible to get a picture of the entire thing that also made it readable.)

Please ignore the shadow in this one.

Tuesday, February 7, 2012

Lessons Learned

Lessons learned from Infertility:

1) It does not get easier with time. ~ This goes for infertility as a whole, and for all the hormone medications/injections. It does not get easier to give myself daily injections. It does not get easier to see other people getting the one thing we so desperately want. Time doesn't heal all wounds.

2) You have to remind yourself of the things you do have... of the blessings you have received. ~ It's easy to get consumed by the negative emotions this brings. It's a constant battle to remind myself how much I do have and how much worse things could be.

3) My nieces and nephews can't fill this void. Sometimes spending time with them helps. Sometimes it makes it a lot worse. The ugly reality is that no matter how great the time spent with them is, they will never be my own... they will never fill the void in our hearts. I have been thankful beyond words for being a young Aunt. I absolutely love that I had over a decade to truly just be the best Aunt I can, without my own children as more important. Once you have your own, being an Aunt takes a backseat. Sometimes it seems it actually gets totally booted from the ride altogether. I have loved every moment as an Aunt to my small boatload of nieces and nephews and I will never stop being grateful I had these years to do it.

4) I want to type very personal things about the actual appointments, but that would be very inappropriate. Can I just tell you my favorite line so far? My doctor actually used the words "manipulate your uterus" in a conversation we had. It is kinda funny to hear.

5) Tears work wonders on the receptionist/check in people. Every other approach gets me nothing but nasty comments and/or looks. Tears however, got me called back instantly. I haven't tried crying for a speeding ticket yet... but if it worked this well at the doctors office I think I'll have to give it a try with the cops too.

Wednesday, January 11, 2012


I didn't cry when our last medicated/artificial cycle failed. It was the first time in well over a year that I didn't have a complete breakdown right then and there. A few days later it did hit me, when another trigger hit me and I just caved. But I am still proud of the better attitude I kept. There's that part of me that was so hidden that is finally peeking back through. Thanks to a dear friend and the words Our Father spoke to her for me... I have been reminded that God did NOT give me this desire for nothing. I WILL be a mother someday, somehow. I will. I believe in this. I just have to remind myself of it, often. I need to eat, sleep, and breath this statement.

Faith doesn't always come easy. We have to work at it. But like many things in life, the best things don't come easy.