Thursday, September 24, 2009

"I Do"


Wasn't this once upon a time, a commitment that people made with lifelong intentions? And surely it wasn't that they expected a perfect lifelong marriage. They knew troubles were bound to be waiting around the bin. But marriage is a solemn vow. It's a promise we make before God, and before all the most important people in our lives. It's a promise so sacred that hundreds, sometimes thousands, of dollars are poured into making the day incredibly special and memorable.

Before my husband and I got married in August 2008, we had already discussed many many times how important the vows we would say were to us. We truly took on the "Divorce is NOT an option" attitude. We talked about the pain divorce brings and how we both felt it was taking the easy way out when things get rough. God is at the center of our marriage. We made a sacred promise before him, to have and to hold one another until the day that God calls us home to be with him. We can think of no circumstance under which a divorce would be justified through God's eyes. Okay, maybe "no circumstances" is too strong. Sure, I can imagine a few situations under which it might have to become an option. In my mind, God wouldn't want one to remain in a marriage with serious abuse (rather to a spouse or to our child/ren). And God does not accept murder, so I suppose if one of us became a murderer we may have to rethink it all.

But the truth is, most marriages ending in divorce are not ending over serious things like that. It is said that most marriages end in difficulties over finances. Debt, disagreements about debt... that's not a reason to divorce. It's a reason to drop to your knees and seek God's guidance. It's a reason to seek financial help. It's a reason to seek counseling, so you can work through the issues. Divorce will not help finances. It will worsen them.

All around me people are separating and getting divorced. Children are paying the price for their parents not-so-wise decisions. And I just can't help but wonder, what were these people thinking when they said "I do"?

I thank God every day for my husband. I pray all the time to become a better wife. I struggle hourly to be the wife I know I can be... the wife that bites her tongue and thinks before she screams speaks. It's not always easy, but I made a vow and I have no intentions to break a promise I made before God, my husband and all the important people in our lives. God never said life would be easy. He just said it would go on. And he is there always waiting to carry me through the times I feel I just can't go on.


Foursons said...

This post is so timely for me right now. I've been questioning lately why I am married. My husband doesn't abuse me or my children, but I've been pretty unhappy quite a bit lately. I have been praying that God will allow me to see again the reasons why I married him. For me to love him as the man I married and not frustrated with the man he has become. I have prayed for change in me, not in him. It's not easy, but things have been better lately. *Whew*

MrsMann said...

I am afraid my thoughts on this today are stepping on peoples toes. Not my intention. But God put it on my heart. And with your comment, I think I can see why a little better. Hugs to you! Hang in there and I will be praying for you!

Rachel said...

Such a true post... and it's hard for younger single generations to understand that marriage (like life) will be full of challenges and ups and downs. It's the committment that matters.

So glad you have started your relationship and your marriage that way!

Thanks for the support today... I really did not expect such negativity and was struggling with a Christian way to respond!

Have a great weekend!